Guess What Time it IS!!

School has started! Which to me means a few thing.

1) You should probably start packing up your shorts because the weather knows that once school starts it's time to get cold.

2) Allow more driving time to get to work because you know that your going to get stuck behind the school bus that has the most frequent stops.

3) New clothes. I miss going to school for this very reason. How wonderful is it to have a set time every year where you KNOW you're going to get new clothes.

And last but most definitely not least...

4) STEP UP NOW WILL BE COMING TO YOUR SCHOOOOLLL!!!!!!!

We are all very excited to be coming to your schools! We're planning games, skits, lessons, and what to do to students who don't behave...

No, I'm teasing about that.
We're excited to see all your smiling faces again. We connected with a lot of our students from last year at the fair! If you didn't see us there then you missed out! We had lots of fun and prizes! New friendships were made and old were reunited, all in front of the wheel of risks. Have no fear, both the wheel of risk and all of the prizes are still available here at our center!

So come by and visit us at Step Up Now to Healthy Relationships!

If you don't know where we are, go to our website at http://www.fbxstepupnow.com/ and you'll find all our information including where we're located!

Peace out!

Abstinence Ninja

Escape 2010

This year, Step Up Now to Healthy Relationships took just shy of 20 students to Wasilla for the Escape conference. This years conference was filled with games, fun, and changed lives.

Enjoy some of the pictures that we took as well as the video that we made and took down for it's premier showing. If you're wondering what video that is, it's the one on the post before this titled "Abstinence Ninja." Yeah, we made that.

Honey If You Love Me

So, a little while ago... I was talking to this girl I know and she's really quite fabulous.

The End.

No, just kidding. But I really was talking to her and she is really a wonderful individual. Anyways, I was asking her what my next blog post should be about. She looked through my little list of ideas and she instantly pointed to a particular subject. She told me that a lot of girls that she's acquainted with say that they have s-e-x with their boyfriends just to prove to them how much they love them.

Did you ever play that game where you would stand in a circle and one at a time you would go up to someone and try your hardest to make them smile while saying, "Honey if you love me won't you please, please smile?" And then they would say, "Honey, I love you but I just can't smile." If you smiled, when you said that, you were out of the game. It's a good one. Maybe we'll play it some time.

Boys and girls, your significant other won't die if they don't have s-e-x. You have so many more better options of how to show your bf/gf you care without giving them your body. In fact, when you choose the non-physical ways of showing affection, it gives THEM a better chance to show you that THEY care!

Not having s-e-x helps you to get to know each other (likes, dislikes, strengths, weaknesses, goals, etc.). Staying away from that gives you a clear head so that you can decide if they're the best person for you, and makes it easier to cut the ties if they're not as great as you thought they were. (Who knows, they may have some nasty habit like nose picking... or something even worse. Ew!)

My point is, spend some time (okay, a lot of time.) getting to know the person you like. Break ups won't be as hurtful, and I'm pretty sure that your honey would feel more loved if you showed them with actions and words rather than s-e-x.

Peace Out!

Come A Little Closer

My gosh this week has been busy. Full of grant writings and all kinds of other things I don't understand. So thankfully I leave all that to the boss and come here to blab to all those who will listen and upload music onto my laptop. (Coldplay is very dear too my heart. My husband proposed to one of their songs. Oh you want to know which one? Yellow, actually. Thanks for asking!)


On a different note other than being busy, my uncle in-law is a pretty funny guy. This last week he was talking about love and Valentines day and all that mushy goodness, and he said, "You always hear people talking about falling in love, falling out of love. Maybe that's why people get hurt all the time... because they're always falling." Haha! ... well I thought it was funny.

Any way, I did have a point with that. I hear teens say all the time, "If we had sex I would feel closer to the other person." It's actually number 2 on my top 20 list. (You remember that list, right?)

Well, I think that in a way, they're right. But here's the thing, it does bring you closer, but it brings you close in all the ways you don't want to be. We always like to bring up the fact that you could now have an STD (ew) or get pregnant. But those are the obvious facts. I wanted to talk about some of the less visible facts. Since you're so concerned about the emotional side of sex, we'll talk about that as well. (Because that's what you're looking for when you want to be closer, right? A more emotionally attached relationship?)

Girls, let's say you really like this guy, he's tender and honest. And guys, let's say you like this girl, she's fun and smart. (And if she's anything like me she's also extremely attractive and is the definition for the word, "Awesome.") Let's say you want to get to know this guy/girl a little more. I mean, hey, you could see yourself dating her/him through highschool and maybe the first year of college. All through high school is long term, we're talking about a serious relationship, here, am I right? So you decide to do the great deed. It will make you two even closer and this 4 year relationship all the more healthier. Wouldn't hurt, right?

Well, now that you've done it, sex is all you can think about, want to do, and that IS all you do. You guys don't really talk unless you're planning your next time to hook up. Let's just say you end up breaking up. You didn't find what you were looking for in them. The break up hurts because that's what most breakups do.

Are you a little confused? Then let me stop beating around the bush and I'll just tell you what I'm talking about. *ahem*

It is fact, that when you start getting physical early on in a relationship (early meaning before you know more about the other person than the fact that they look hot in skinny jeans), you can't develope the attachment to that person that is needed to have a healthy, strong, and long lasting relationship. Because all you can think about is when you're going to do it next all the lines of communication are blocked, making it so that you two as a couple can't talk well enough to fix the stuff that tries to separate you. So if you're looking for the emotional part of a relationship, I'm telling you guys that it only comes by spending time together. With friends, coffee shop conversations, and in all sorts of different settings so that you can get to know how your significant other acts in all kinds of circumstances. Talk to each other so that you know their thoughts and the deepest parts of them. Build up your trust, honesty, and friendship as a couple. WAIT TO DO THE DEED UNITL YOU'RE MARRIED!!

Now I know I might be you life wrecker, dream crusher in this blog and even as I was writing this post I had so many rebutal questions come to my mind that I would LOVE to answer for you. Like, what if you've been dating for a few years and you haven't had sex. You think you know each other pretty darn well. So why should you still wait until your married if you already have that relationship? I want to you to be informed.

And please just know, I don't mean to be your life wrecker, dream crusher. I care for your well being. I want you to be the best that you can be.



Peace Out!

On A Valentines Day Long, Long, Ago....

In case anyone didn't notice, I took a small break from blogging because I was in PORTLAND!! Jealous? I know you are. But stop it. Right now.


I was going to post a picture a picture of me in the epitome of my Portland trip but it was too embarrassing. I looked kinda dumb.


Any way...


Today is the last day for me to blog before Valentines day and so I decided to make it story day.


A lot of my husband and I's dating relationship was long distance because he was in construction so he traveled out of town a lot. He gave me a key to his post office box so that I could check his mail for him while he was gone. Needless to say, when he came back into town he never asked for his extra box key so I never gave it back. It stayed nice, shiny, and happy on my key chain. (And there it still remains because we got married and still have the same p.o. box.)


So February rolled around and I had made this wildly wonderful plan of what to do for him for Valentines day. Now, I worked a part time job, minimum wage, and had almost no money. So my present for him cost a grand total of $1.80.


"How did you do something so extravagant for only $1.80," you might ask. Because I'm awesome, that's how. Also because I made the whole entire thing. I spent maybe a whole week making him the most coveted valentine and writing the perfect note inside about how much I enjoyed being his girlfriend and such. Now here's where the fun began:



He checked his mail in the morning/afternoon. So I woke up super early and carted all of my craft supplies to the post office where I spent the next 15 minutes stuffing his mail box full of paper hearts, ribbon streamers, and my hand crafted valentine. Eventually I had to involve some duct tape because the streamers weren't sticking to the top of his mail box. I wish I had taken a picture because it was magnificent. And guess what? 3 years later and he still has not only the valentine but the streamers and paper scraps I crammed in there too.


My honey and I have never been too extravagant on Valentines day, but we always make sure that we spend some time and love for the other person so that they feel appreciated and loved.

And like every story, this one has a moral.



True love, the kind that is unconditional and stays true for 75 years, doesn't have to be shown by crazy amounts of money and hugely expensive gifts. Just something to show that you were thinking about them and your relationship with them, and took the time to show your appreciation with something you made. Or if you're not one for making things, maybe just a nice date that you took the time to plan so it would be perfect. Just make sure that you're boundaries are well established before going on that perfectly planned date.


Peace out!

Why A Cup of Coffee Could Affect Your Future.

I have this huge list of the top 20 behavioral beliefs of teens that have sex. I didn't understand that title either. Basically, it means that it's a list of the top 20 reasons that teens use to decide whether or not to have sex. It has reasons like, "I might get AIDS" or "I would feel guilty," and all that jazz. There's something a little more interesting about this list though. Remember a couple sentences ago when I mentioned, "Top 20?" Yeah, these reasons are listed in order of MOST COMMON. Now here's where it gets really interesting, and listen up teenagers... your number 1 reason to have sex is this, "I think I might enjoy sex."
That's number one. You might enjoy it. I also might enjoy a good cup of coffee but it's not something that I put number one on my list of things that could GREATLY AFFECT MY FUTURE. No, that's more like the 9,982nd thing that might greatly affect my future. And I can tell you the reasons why it would ever affect my future... and there are only three.

1. It's a really good blend so I drink only that kind for the rest of my life. Future affected.


2. For some reason I wake up in the morning and decide that I hate it, thus never drinking it again. Future affected.


3. Someone poisons me through my daily cup of coffee thus killing me. Future definitely affected.

So let's just take a little time travel through your life. You have sex as a teen/young adult because you think, "Meh, it could be fun I guess."
Let's say you get an STD. Life effected. Usually forever.
Let's say you get pregnant. Girls you suddenly have a baby to take care of, school to go to, and a job to support your baby. And boys, getting a girl DOES affect you. You find your self going to school to graduate and working the night shift at Taco Bell so that you can pay child support. Also, that decision and your child will affect EVERY RELATIONSHIP you will EVER have.
Let's say your heart gets broken. Didn't think of that did you? Did you think about the fact, boys, that you are 8 TIMES more LIKELY to commit suicide if you are sexually active than if you're abstinent? Girls are 3 times more likely. Why are boys' rates higher than a girl's? Because boys don't go around telling everyone and their mother's brother about their heart break. That's right, girls, boys have feelings too.

All of these things are not only more likely to happen than getting poisoned by your everyday cup of joe... but they DO HAPPEN. Thousands of teens contract an STD every day. Every time we go and speak in a school someone speaks up and says, "There are lots of pregnant girls in our school." I did a session in a junior high school... 12 year old kids, and they were talking about all of the pregnant girls in their schools. That is something that a 12-13 year old should not have to go through. And we see it all the time. Why do I tell you this? Because I just wanted to have a casual conversation. Also I wanted to let you know that people that wait until they're married and stay faithful don't have to worry about any of this.

Peace Out.