My gosh this week has been busy. Full of grant writings and all kinds of other things I don't understand. So thankfully I leave all that to the boss and come here to blab to all those who will listen and upload music onto my laptop. (Coldplay is very dear too my heart. My husband proposed to one of their songs. Oh you want to know which one? Yellow, actually. Thanks for asking!)
On a different note other than being busy, my uncle in-law is a pretty funny guy. This last week he was talking about love and Valentines day and all that mushy goodness, and he said, "You always hear people talking about falling in love, falling out of love. Maybe that's why people get hurt all the time... because they're always falling." Haha! ... well I thought it was funny.
Any way, I did have a point with that. I hear teens say all the time, "If we had sex I would feel closer to the other person." It's actually number 2 on my top 20 list. (You remember that list, right?)
Well, I think that in a way, they're right. But here's the thing, it does bring you closer, but it brings you close in all the ways you don't want to be. We always like to bring up the fact that you could now have an STD (ew) or get pregnant. But those are the obvious facts. I wanted to talk about some of the less visible facts. Since you're so concerned about the emotional side of sex, we'll talk about that as well. (Because that's what you're looking for when you want to be closer, right? A more emotionally attached relationship?)
Girls, let's say you really like this guy, he's tender and honest. And guys, let's say you like this girl, she's fun and smart. (And if she's anything like me she's also extremely attractive and is the definition for the word, "Awesome.") Let's say you want to get to know this guy/girl a little more. I mean, hey, you could see yourself dating her/him through highschool and maybe the first year of college. All through high school is long term, we're talking about a serious relationship, here, am I right? So you decide to do the great deed. It will make you two even closer and this 4 year relationship all the more healthier. Wouldn't hurt, right?
Well, now that you've done it, sex is all you can think about, want to do, and that IS all you do. You guys don't really talk unless you're planning your next time to hook up. Let's just say you end up breaking up. You didn't find what you were looking for in them. The break up hurts because that's what most breakups do.
Are you a little confused? Then let me stop beating around the bush and I'll just tell you what I'm talking about. *ahem*
It is fact, that when you start getting physical early on in a relationship (early meaning before you know more about the other person than the fact that they look hot in skinny jeans), you can't develope the attachment to that person that is needed to have a healthy, strong, and long lasting relationship. Because all you can think about is when you're going to do it next all the lines of communication are blocked, making it so that you two as a couple can't talk well enough to fix the stuff that tries to separate you. So if you're looking for the emotional part of a relationship, I'm telling you guys that it only comes by spending time together. With friends, coffee shop conversations, and in all sorts of different settings so that you can get to know how your significant other acts in all kinds of circumstances. Talk to each other so that you know their thoughts and the deepest parts of them. Build up your trust, honesty, and friendship as a couple. WAIT TO DO THE DEED UNITL YOU'RE MARRIED!!
Now I know I might be you life wrecker, dream crusher in this blog and even as I was writing this post I had so many rebutal questions come to my mind that I would LOVE to answer for you. Like, what if you've been dating for a few years and you haven't had sex. You think you know each other pretty darn well. So why should you still wait until your married if you already have that relationship? I want to you to be informed.
And please just know, I don't mean to be your life wrecker, dream crusher. I care for your well being. I want you to be the best that you can be.
Peace Out!
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